Chronicles of the Morioh Hobo
by NathanielTortellini
Summary: A nerd from the U.S.A. goes to bed one night and wakes up in Diamond Is Unbreakable. Will he ever make it back home? Rated M for language and violence.
1. Chapter 1

( AN: This is probably going to be my longest story, spanning many chapters until I'm finished. However, this is entirely written on my phone, so don't expect everything from me, please.

This is a self-insert, meaning the main character is based on me. I also made a Stand on the Stand Generator, leading to this story.

I do not have any ownership of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.)

Chapter 1: Waking Up

It was a night much like any other night, and, as usual, I went to bed on this night. Also like many of my nights, I suffered from insomnia, which led me to be bored. So, to alleviate that boredom, I read a manga on my phone.

My story of choice was JoJo, a bizarre adventure of a teen from a town called Morioh, within which lurks a serial killer. Not the best story to fall asleep to, due to the violence, but I wasn't bored while reading it. I lay there for hours, until my phone finally died. Sighing, I plug in my phone and got comfortable, falling asleep at three in the morning.

After a dreamless sleep, I awoke with the light of the many-times-cursed sun burning into my skull. Groggily, I got up, feeling around. I was shocked to being fully awake at realizing that I wasn't in my bedroom! I looked around to see that I was in a side alley somewhere, lying on an old mattress!

I looked at myself, to see if I was alright. Long hair? Check. Shirt? Check. Jacket? Check. Pants? Check. Shoes? Check.

...

"What the hell?! Why am I dressed?! Where am i?!" I shouted angrily.

I finally stood and left the alley.

And I stood directly in the path of an ancient and very familiar arrow...

| To be continued==


	2. Chapter 2

(AN: I have finally continued to write for this story. Sorry it took so long to write, but I decided to make it longer. Turns out that when you write a story out with a pencil, it takes a while to get things done. I apologize if I made myself Mary Sue-ish.

A.N. 2: I edited this chapter. According to a review, I was, in fact, a Mary Sue. I did my best to fix that.

I have no ownership over JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.)

Chapter 2: Control Freak

The pain from the arrow striking me in the shoulder didn't really hurt as much as I thought it would. Don't get me wrong, but it seemed comparable to getting a vaccine, only worse, due to the burning of an open wound.

But, I obviously had to make that pain worse by ripping out the arrow like a dumbass! It hurt like hell! Like having a chunk of my very soul be ripped out of the hole in my shoulder!

I screamed from the pain I caused myself, seemingly for hours, until it finally subsided. Then I realized that there was a strange form floating in front of me... a Stand, I decided.

To describe it, imagine a robot, plated with what seemed to be circuit boards, with wires for joints, and the buttons of a SNES controller in its chest with a dial representing each console logo in its abs.

'I wonder what you can do,' I thought to myself sarcastically. It was obvious that it did something with video games.

As if to answer me, the punch ghost raised its arm and pointed. With a poof of smoke, a heart-plant, from The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, appeared, and I touched the healing plant. My injury sealed itself up, and the dull throbbing disappeared.

I then realized something: my Stand is over-powered if it can summon things from video games.

I decided to take control. I tried to create something, anything that could help me out. A yen coin on the ground turned into a golden coin, from the Mario franchise. However, when I picked it up, it turned back into a yen coin. I was disappointed, but this power could be useful.

I looked around and noticed a familiar landmark. There was an alley across the street, and in it, I could see a red mailbox with a pile of dog shit next to it. I recognized that from Diamond is Unbreakable, and it looked just like it was from the anime. The alley that leads to the afterlife.

I realized I wasn't in the good ol' state of Tennessee.

I was in Morioh.

Shit.

Then, I heard a girl screaming, and as I had a "standu powah," I could do something. I ran to the sound of the screams until I saw Koichi — how the fuck is he that small — and his girlfriend, Yukako, having their date at the café. I hid in the nearby bushes, and waited. No, I'm not a creep at all.

I was pretty sure that this must have been their first date, so I looked around. Surely enough, Josuke and Okuyasu were hiding behind a tree, watching, like me.

I decided to wait until they were done, and when they finally finished an hour later, and Koichi got away, I chose to meet him, against my better judgement.

I caught up to him and greeted him with, "Hey, little dude, what's up?"

"Hi. Why are you talking to me?" he asked.

"I thought you seemed interesting, so I came up to talk to you. My name's Nathan," I say.

He introduces himself. "Mine's Koichi."

"Nice to meet you, Koichi."

Koichi doesn't answer, as he's shaking in fear. I turn around to see my Stand, which I realized I hadn't named. I thought for a moment, and said, "You can see it? It's my Stand, Control Freak. Please don't freak out!"

Of course, that did nothing to stop both Koichi from screaming, and Josuke and Okuyasu charging in for the rescue.

"You're not going to hurt Koichi, you assface!" Shouted Josuke.

"What he said!" Okuyasu yelled.

"I don't have time for this," I mutter, as I ready myself for a beatdown.

Suddenly, Control Freak jumps into action, creating an energy shield generator to protect me from one of the pins on my jacket. It activated just as the two screaming teens attacked. Their punches didn't do much against my shield, but it began to crack. I needed to do something. I then changed my new shield into a Reflector, one of the attacks of Fox from Smash Bros.

They got zapped, but they recovered.

My dumbass self said something that would bite me in the ass later.

"THE WORLD!"

And with a loud dubstep fart, time stopped.

I then realized three more things: 1) I was over-powered as fuck because of Eyes Over Heaven, 2) Jotaro is going to kill my sorry ass, and 3) I my stand had changed into The World.

I dodged, and time resumed, and I punched Josuke upside the head.

I ran away as he fell, and I was horribly exausted.

I'm a goddamn idiot. I told Koichi my name, got into a fight with the main character, and I fucking stole a canon power.

Then, in my dark musings, I ran into — who else — Jotaro Kujo as he was heading for the fight.

'Josuke called him,' I thought. 'But I couldn't have been running for that long, right? ... oh. Time stop, right. I suppose my Stand changed back, so I didn't perceive time stopping.'

I tried to get past him, but he grabbed my arm.

"You're Nathan, right?"

"Tsk, tsk. Yes, I am. Tsk tsk."

I got a punch in the face for that. Dumbass.

"Why did you attack them?" he interrogated.

"They attacked me first," I answered.

"Yare yare," he said. "Next question: do you have a stand?"

"You mean a punch ghost?" I ask.

"Good grief," he muttered. "Last question: what do you know about DIO?"

"I know his last name is Brando," I lamely answer.

"Yare yare daze."

| to be continued =


End file.
